As parents, we try to teach our kids sportsmanship. We try to teach them how to win confidently and lose gracefully. We try to teach them life lessons off of the field so they can learn how to listen and be respectful on it. But what happens when the parents lose control? As a sports parent, coach, volunteer and official, I have witnessed first hand the effects of inappropriate sideline coaching from parents. This behavior is disrespectful and detrimental to the game, coaches, team, parents, and most of all, the players.
Let the Players Play
There’s nothing like watching your own child play, exercise and compete. Put yourself in your child’s shoes for a minute…
Before the game and during timeouts, the coach will talk to the team about strategy and may give each player specific instructions to give the team the best chance of success.
And then as soon as a player gets out on the court, parents start screaming out conflicting instructions that go against the team’s strategy and the player’s role on the team.
This leaves the child in a tricky situation…
• Who should they listen to? • Which adult do they choose to make happy? • Which adult do they choose to disappoint?
Let the Coaches Coach
If a coach is willing to volunteer their time to coach your son or daughter, please let them do the
coaching. A parent screaming out instructions from the sideline just makes their role even more difficult than it already is. Coaches put in the time and effort at each practice to make each player the best athletes they can be. There is a reasoning behind the offensive plays they are calling and the defense they are running. They are trying to win the game as much as anyone else. Appreciate and respect those willing to devote their time and effort into making your child a better player.
Let the Officials Officiate
When your child notices you complaining to the referee, your child learns:
- that mistakes are not okay
- to make excuses
- to give up when facing adversity
- to disrespect authority
- to have negative role models
Instead, teach them to immediately move onto the next play.
The recent nationwide officiating survey conducted by NASO concluded that abuse by parents and fans was the top reason that people quit working as referees.